Not Hard for Me

I wanted to say this in class about Tim O'Brien's book but I didn't know how to start the conversation. Every time someone in the class said that things in the book where hard to read, that the dark humor and the descriptions where difficult to digest. For me though when I read through those things didn't faze me, it didn't bother me, because even though I didn't go to Nam I knew and understood what everyone of those soldiers where going through. I was born and lived in a war zone and nearly drowned in my own shit field for 18 years. I have been free of that life for two years and it's interesting looking back. I never went to Nam, I haven't even left the country, but I understand the dark humor, the madness, the emptiness inside, the darkness, not having the ability or even the chance to talk to someone; I felt, experienced, and did all those things, even the evilness that O'Brien felt when he was trying to get even took life inside of me.

Because of all of this I knew I had the ability to read between the lines and some what imagine what they where thinking and feeling, but I mostly avoided doing that because it made me feel depressed and some what dark inside because I had to use my own understand and feelings to do that.

When you come out of dark places like the soldiers and myself you know you lost you innocence and purity. You come out of it feeling dark and dirty, but you don't have to stay that way. Even though purity and innocence stand hand in hand they are still very separate. In time if your willing you can turn your dark knowledge into clear,pure, wisdom that's untainted. Like good things can be used and turned into bad, bad sometimes can be changed and used for good when it has been tampered. When this happens purity exists and an adult sense of innocence comes to life.