The understandable understanding

When O'Brien writes "He understood", I think he writes it as a response that he thought that Martha loved him. Because of the current setting, it would seem that "He understood" meant that he knew his new stance on the issue, or he knew his resolution in his change; that he hated her and that it was over. In accepting that he abruptly hated her over a non-related issue wasn't realistic for me. Now, in understanding all of this its important to realize the heavy impact that the war had had on him, as he constantly caught himself in self-indulging fantasies and daydreams. With each passing fantasy he hegan to realize that his understanding of the relationship, that she loved him as he loved her, was exaggerated. Even though he seemed to slowly come to grips with this reality, this understanding wasn't enough to rid him free of his illusion. This was shown with the death of Lavender. In feeling personally responsible for his death, he reacted boldly in burning Martha's letters and pictures. I feel that this made his, ever-so misleading mind even more confused. That seems to be the case in incidents of heavy stress and emotion. So, in accepting the fragility of the state of his mind, I felt that "He understood" was his response to the Martha that was calling him back, to love her continually. Her gaze meant to him that she loved him and wanted him back after his decision to mentally 'break up.'Thats what he wanted after all. To be with her. That was his security blanket, his love for her and HER assumed love for him. During that period of high anxiety and stress, his sub-conscience tried its last plea for comfort with Martha's gaze. I believe in understanding her gaze, we can better understand his response. I feel that in his deep confused conscienceness, he saw the woman that loved him. But in his resolve to change he pressed onward in freeing himself from the relationship fully, understanding what he had done.