What I Did

"On the Rainy River" is one of my favorite stories in the book. It's a story that O'Brien says he had never told before, and I suspect it's because it was a deeply emotional event that he went through. When O'Brien does share the story with the reader, he's not worried about if the reader believes the story is true or not, he wants the reader to feel same emotions that he felt at that moment he was on the boat. The emotions themselves are true, they are what connects the reader and O'Brien, and by directly addressing the reader with the word"you" he is attempting to draw the reader into the emotion of the moment. I think that with this story, the technique of talking to the reader is effective. It puts the reader into the story as a character, asking the person to participate. Whenever I relate my own stories to someone else, I often use the word "you" because I am hoping the person will put him/herself into the story and some how experience similar emotions, and then that person will know. I think O'Brien's use of direct address to the reader works. For me personally it was powerful because I have been in a similar situation.

Like O'Brien I hesitate to relate my experience, it means that I will have to show a part of myself that I normally reserve. At this moment as I type, I can feel my heart rate increase and my fingers are shaking a little bit at the keyboard. I have never shared this experience before and I keep wondering if I should, and yet I know that I will because of O'Brien's story.

In Feb. of 2003 I was in the Army National Guard in a combat engineer unit. We had been called up to go to Iraq. We had about a week to get all of our eqiupment and gear ready before we shipped out.

To keep the story short I will simply say that one evening I sat in a car with my mom parked in our driveway. I told my mom that I was scared to leave, I related all my fears about the possibility of death, that my future no longer seemed sure. That moment was my catharsis, when I shared my tears with someone else. Even though I was terrified and didn't want to go, deep inside I knew that I would. How could I stay behind, when the guys that I had trained with would leave?

When I read "On the Rainy River" I took my time. Reading O'Brien's story caused me to relive the emotions of that night I was parked in the driveway with my mom. Those feelings are as powerful today as they were seven years ago. Like O'Brien I felt that same tightness in my chest, the doubts and fears, the realization that life isn't a sure thing.

I guess what I am trying to say in so many words, is that O'Brien's technique of addressing the reader directly is effective, for me at least since it caused me relieve strong emotions. I was amazed and comforted at the similarity of emotions and thoughts between myself and O'Brien's story. I could keep going on about the book, the attachement I have for it, but I suppose I should stop.